By Jennifer Bodhi Holley Counselor | MA | LCMHCA
Emotional eating is a hot topic as we all experience life in quarantine. Who hasn’t seen a meme lamenting the pounds that are packing on as we navigate the unknown? The things that we typically do to keep ourselves busy and reduce stress in our lives were taken out from under us in an instant. No more gym, shopping, massage, or spa treatments. We are at home facing ourselves in a way that we have never faced before. We are forced to experience life in a new way and the level of uncertainty & change is overwhelming for even those who have previously had their stress levels under wraps.
Now more than ever, we need help managing our stress. With many of our healthy coping mechanisms now unavailable, we find comfort wherever we can. Food is an easy and accessible friend to us. We eat to soothe the jagged edges of fear, to bring pleasure to boredom and to numb the nagging irritability. We find ourselves eating more to survive psychologically …and who could blame us?
This shift in the foundation of our daily lives takes us out of the habitual patterns that we have set up to help ourselves feel safe and purposeful. However, in this space of uncertainty we have the opportunity to see the truth about how we cope with life and assess whether our current habits are ones that will lead to the outcomes that we prefer. This is a chance to look at WHY we are eating more and unpacking the truth that underlies our desire to eat.
The last thing that any of us need now is more guilt or shame about our behavior. The most effective way that we can make lasting changes in our habits is to be able to see them clearly. Looking through a filter of “should and shouldn’t” is self-defeating and creates more stress for our internal chemistry which is forced to bathe in negative emotion. The most important question that we can ask ourselves as we approach the topic of eating, is “What is my motivation?”
Instead of looking at our eating patterns with contempt and judgement, we can soften and be kind to ourselves. First, accepting the fact that this is not forever and that once some stability occurs in our lives again, the need to eat for comfort will lessen. Even then, if we find ourselves eating when we are not physically hungry, we can come at ourselves with curiosity. What is it that we REALLY need in that moment…? We can ask ourselves, “Am I afraid, angry, bored, tired, overstimulated or lonely?”
Bringing awareness to our actual needs might be all that it takes to shift the tide. Being aware of how we are feeling can take some time and patience. It means taking a pause before acting on an impulse. It also means becoming aware of the sensations in the body, as well as the thoughts and emotions that are alive in us at that moment. It is only in the present moment that we have the power to make a different choice.
Often what we find in peeling back the layers are a basic belief that weight control is simply a matter of willpower.
Underneath these limiting beliefs we often find pockets of pain, guilt and shame that have haunted us for years. Feelings of low self-worth, body hatred and guilt for never being quite enough feed the feelings of hopelessness and keep us in cycles of trying and giving up to the point where we just stop trying.
Sometimes mindful awareness does not seem to be enough. We often find ourselves knowing why we are doing something, what is motivating it and that it is unhealthy…but we keep doing it anyway. There seems to be an inner saboteur that wrecks our best intentions. In this case, many have found the Emotional Freedom Technique to be effective in shifting those drives that seem right beyond our capacity for self-control. Emotional Freedom Technique can help us go into the depths of those limiting beliefs and negative feelings and change them …for good.
This technique was developed based on fundamentals of Chinese medicine. There are meridian lines that run throughout the body and our life force energy runs through them. Each line has an end point that can be accessed on the skin. When we have a negative thought or emotion, it causes a “kink” in the line so to speak. That creates an energy blockage and can, over time, develop into a physical dis-ease. With the Emotional Freedom Technique, one learns to access eight main meridian end points on the face, hand, and upper body. We tap on the end points while pulling up the negative thought or limiting belief and the kinetic energy from the tapping sends energy through the meridian line. This tapping unblocks the line, causes the energy to flow freely, and frees the body and mind of the negative emotion or belief. As we continue tapping, we then reprogram the mind to adopt new beliefs that are more beneficial and create effective change in the energy system.
This may seem like a bunch of hocus pocus to us westerners who are not familiar with the subtle energy system in the body, but the Chinese have been using techniques such as these for thousands of years and they do it because it WORKS! The Emotional Freedom Technique is so effective that it has been accepted by the American Psychological Association as an evidence-based practice. It is used by doctors and psychologists worldwide who are interested in making fast and effective changes in the way that people experience their lives and health.
The beauty of this technique is that it not only will shift the way that you relate to food, it will relieve the underlying cause which drives you to do any unhealthy behavior. It will solve the disconnect between your thoughts and your behaviors and give you back the power to experience your life the way you want to. No more dieting, no more punishing exercising routines, no more forceful willpower that exhausts and demoralizes you. The bottom line is that you will not be fighting against yourself to move in the direction that you want your life to go. All your beliefs and desires will be in alignment and you will effortlessly move into the direction of your dreams.
At this time of great uncertainty and change, while our normal routines are disturbed, we have a wonderful opportunity to start new habits. We have this time of slow down to assess what is working, what is not working and where we want to go from here. We can see this as a time that we, like caterpillars who have gone into a cocoon, have the space to make changes that will enable us to leave this imposed cocoon flying instead of walking.
We can even be GRATEFUL to our emotional eating habit for being the red flag that announced to us that something needs to change and that there is something deeper to look at within. It points us back to the truth that we ultimately have the power to create e happiness and fulfillment that we deserve.
If you would like to take the challenge of learning a new way to integrate mindful awareness and the Emotional Freedom Technique into your life, please contact Jenny Holly ,MA, LCMHCA at MindMatters, Hypnosis and Counseling at 704-796-8542 for a free consultation .
You may also check out her Psychology Today Directory listing.
